Tag Archives: pre-travel

Pre-Trip Worries

5 Feb

My return to Guatemala is getting closer and closer. There are 47 days until our plane takes off. Each week we have a meeting to get together as a group and discuss things for the trip. I usually end up speaking at these meetings because it seems people believe things coming from someone their own age as opposed to a teacher and we want to get everyone excited.

47 days.

I’ve waited for this trip for so long and I’m so excited that it’s so close that I can barely sleep at night. I look through the pictures I look last year, reread my journal entries from the trip, and every part of me wants to be back there. Right now.

I anticipate seeing all of the friends I made last year, impressing them with my new Spanish skills, and seeing the bilingual secretary teacher whom I’ve kept in contact with and running up to her in excitement. I think about the market on Sunday and the yarn that I want to buy. When we go to Panajachel, I know exactly what I want to buy. I’m determined that this trip will be just as magical as the last one.

But what if it isn’t?

I hold the days that I spent in Guatemala so close to perfection that I’m afraid I’ve exaggerated in my head. Last year when I went, I had no expectations. All I had was a bunch of fears and a little bit of excitement. But this year, I know what to expect. We’re going to the same places we went last year. All of the people that I met last year will still be there. I’ve been waiting for this trip to come for so long that I’m worried that I’m going to let myself down, that it won’t be as wonderful as I’m expecting it to be in my head.

This time last year I was so afraid to go on this trip that I almost considered backing out. I was afraid to get on the airplane, afraid to try the new foods, afraid to be away from home, afraid to hike up the ruins, afraid to try to speak Spanish. This year, I don’t feel any of that. This year, my only fear is this. The fear that it won’t be the same, that I’m ruining something special by returning.

Has anyone else ever had these feelings about returning to a place that they loved? Is this just nerves talking? Is this normal?